And So This Is Christmas

Let's hope it's a good one without any fear

I had come down to get the mail when I saw one of my neighbours sitting in the lobby all dressed and waiting. I said "Good Morning" and asked if she was waiting for someone. "Yes," she replied, "my son is taking me out for brunch with the family." "Have a great time" I said and headed back to our condo.

About 30 minutes later I came down to go for a walk, she was still there and I could see the anxiety on her face. I stayed for a few minutes to chat and about ten minutes later the family showed up. Her relief in seeing them showed instantly as a smile spread across her face.

I watched as her son got out of the car, hurried too the door and apologized all the way back to the car. The delay was caused by one children falling and scrapping his knee. They drove away all smiles and I'm sure it turned into one of those happy memories that she will treasure for weeks to come.

As I left for my walk I thought about our up coming Christmas trip to Edmonton where we will spend a week with family. It is a journey we have been making for more than two decades and as we age we look forward to it more every year. It is many of those extraordinary moments that we will treasure for a long time or at least until the next year when we will experience more moments filled with love and caring.

But, as I walked my thoughts came back to my neighbour and how many times I have seen that look of anxiety on the faces of many elders waiting to be pickup by family and friends. And that thought reminded me of the numerous reports and studies done on elder abuse.

It continues to amaze me how many of these reports focus on the abuse coming from within the family. There are so many categories of abuse ranging for financial to physical. It is the financial to physical that get most of the coverage, but an area that is seldom covered is indifference. Indifference is a breeder of isolation, one the key reasons for the Eden Alternative (www.edenalt.org).

For elders, tardiness can be abusive as it brings on anxiety causing stress. In some cases the anxiety is self induced by getting ready well before the designated time or forgetting the time. In many instances these scenarios are by and large a nature of aging. Family members should recognize that and be prepared. If we are attentive, we can identify the issue in advance and work to alleviate the circumstance.

As we rush hither and thither in an effort to make this a perfect Christmas, let's not forget why we are having Christmas; it is for family. It is a time of joy and love, a time of random acts of kindness. It is those moments, when we remember the elders within our family and take the time to assist them with their preparations. Let them participate, make sure they are involved, let them feel the love that Christmas is all about.

As you prepare for Christmas, I thought I would leave you with the first verse and chorus of "Happy Christmas" by John Lennon. I find it a good reminder of what we are celebrating.

and so this is Christmas
and what have we done
another year over and a new one just begun
and so this is Christmas
we hope you had fun
the near and the dear ones
the old and the young

chorus
a very merry Christmas
and a happy new year
let's hope it's a good one
without any fear

Merry Christmas everyone